Expectations as a bug

Euphoria has a sound; it can have a smile. It isn’t karma for work. It isn’t a prize for the effort. It is a gift. A bonus. It is the smile in this photo– a record from 1983 being broken at a swim championship. It is a best time. It is the collaborative squeal that escapes under the curtain as it closes on a musical cast that first night. It is an acceptance to a hallowed college. 

But not all who participate have that moment, that euphoria. It cannot be the only goal.  It has to be one of life’s treats. A gorgeous sunrise. Because  those who didn’t end up with the place or time or acting part  that they put in so much work towards– they don’t walk away any less fulfilled. Life doesn’t share its gorgeous sunrises every day. 

In college I went after a 50 freestyle record- it was our oldest team record. I got a little faster every year and I was in the best shape of my life my senior year; I worked hard and tapered so well for that meet. I missed it by 0.01 seconds. I felt empty. I felt flat. Which was ridiculous. I recall almost feeling as though it wasn’t fair, as if my hard work should have made me worthy of breaking the record. That wasn’t life's lesson. Missing that euphoria was simply a moment. 

I know (it took a little bit of time to get over it) that my hard work was my prize. My team was my prize. They still are. But just like the surgeon who does everything in her power to save a patient's leg— it doesn’t always work. Not because there isn’t enough effort or goodness; it isn’t a lack of smarts or skill.  Sometimes the good ones just die. Sometimes preparation still results in an incomplete race. Hard work falls flat. College rejection letters come more often than acceptances.

So when you have a chance to witness someone else having a moment of euphoria, share it. Enjoy it. Honor it. But never expect that you are owed it; nor that anything less is wasted time or effort. Congratulations to all of the amazing kids that had these moments today. May you always remember their joy but know that they are your bonus. They are a treat. Your true gift and reward is your work and your team. Be so proud of your work. It was a honor to witness your moments today.

Photo credit the amazing Julie Pasquella